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something about work and love, which is probably very boring // 2002-04-14

standing in my living room at 8:53pm on sunday evening. the bath is running, so i'm just waiting until it's full to get in. the tv is on for background noise--this is somehow very comforting to me--and my cat is staring at me from a chair a few feet away.

i just got back from the gog. the gog stands for "good ol' girls", a club started with five of us girls from work to bitch and gossip about everything, since everything at my work is worthy of bitching and gossiping. it's getting smaller and smaller, though. holly quit over a year ago, so she doesn't come to the gog anymore. tina just had a baby, so she's on maternity leave. brooke just got laid off a week ago, so we had a lot to talk about.

so much was said tonight, and it made me realize that i've been coasting along feeling just okay about this stupid job, while all along it's really, unbearably awful. i won't quit, since i have to save for acupunture school (and oh god, that stupid car commercial with the loathsome bare naked ladies song is playing now and i'm about to lose my mind), but i wish i could just walk out one day and never come back. i try to not waste my life, or consider anything i do wasted time, but it's terribly hard not to think that nowadays.

that said, what i came away feeling as jen dropped me off at home on the way back, was that i love my boyfriend, c, very, very much, but i haven't told him that yet after nearly nine months of dating. he's fabulous and wonderful and i wish i could say something. i called him when i got home, but he's having dinner with a female friend of his, so i need to try not to be jealous (since that's my natural inclination) and hope that he loves me back.

that shouldn't be construed as pathetic. but it is sincere. and sappy. blah.

my bath is on its way to overflowing...

before // after