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i'd stand under your window and play "looking at you" on the accordion just for you // 2002-04-30

had drinks at the alibi room with rickey last night, which was a very nice thing to do after work (note: i had written "actually" but i'm making a conscious effort not to use that word anymore--it's not very nice and tends to undermine one's point). sometimes i feel like rickey corrals me, always getting a "last drink" so i can't leave. he did that last night, of course, but i made an extra effort not to mind. i also made an extra effort to pay attention and really listen, since i tend to drift off a lot when i talk to anyone. and, of course, i had a much better time than i would normally have had.

i went over to c's later last night, but his buzzer at his apartment isn't working. i usually call up on my cell phone, but my battery had died, so i thought it would be romantic to throw rocks at his window. i threw about 30 rocks, and he didn't come to the window. i suppose i should have yelled up, but i didn't want to bother anyone else in the building. so i walked up to the 7-11 a few blocks away to call him from the payphone. he answered, "where are you? i've been waiting downstairs at the front door for you for five minutes!" and i said, "i've been throwing rocks at your window for the last five minutes!" ah, so sweet. i went back and he let me in and we lived happily ever after...

from that sprung the idea to try serenading him sometime. but i can't just roll my piano over there and start playing. i should really take up the accordion. that would be cool. and more portable.

the other idea i came up with yesterday is to write a novel. not necessarily a good one or even one that i would let other people read, but i'm sure i could fill several hundred pages with words. i felt like my idea was ingenious, until i remembered that everyone writes a novel. but my novel would be about being young and being jealous (since i'm good at both of those things) and i would call it "green". or is that hokey? if not, no one can steal my idea, ok?

oh yeah, i've also decided to start telling people i'm 21 when they ask. that's funny because it's almost plausible but highly absurd.

before // after