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reversion // 2002-11-05

one never expects that at age 28 they will be once again thrust into the horrifying, traumatic world of adolescence. my biggest fear bit me in the ass today in chem class where we were told we need to find lab partners for our lab this week.

in short: i panicked. i got sweaty palms. i felt my heart race. i walked out of class with no lab partner.

one would think i would be mature enough to amble up to someone--anyone--in my class and ask if they need a partner. but apparently i'm not. i have no friends, no buddies, in this class, and i'm terribly insecure. what was i supposed to do?

i called c up in the middle of the day bawling like the 10-year old i've become, and he calmed me down and we came up with a plan. i think it will all be ok, but i feel like a total fool. not only a fool, but a loner. which is usually ok most of the time, but in times like this it makes me feel really, really awful.

so what's next? i'll probably get picked last for teams in PE tomorrow, that's what. oh wait, i'm not in PE...

before // after