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worries // 2003-01-28

saturday night i played risk until 3am at anika's with c, gary, stephanie, and dave. anika got us all liquored up in hopes that she could conquer the world while we slurred our words and drooled into our fifth round of gin and tonics, but she was the first to fall out of the game. and sadly, i was the second. c holed up in australia and plowed through asia in one turn, and then totally crushed me and my europe stronghold in the next. it was over pretty quickly after that. but i'm not crying too much seeing as how i kicked ass in boggle later. c and i went swimming on saturday and i'm already starting to feel like i'm swimming faster and easier. my goal this summer is to do the half mile swim in the sprint distance under 20 minutes, which may sound easy, but given that my last two times were over 23 minutes, it seems like a good time to aim for.

and on sunday i was totally forgotten by my study group. the flaky girl was supposed to call me and then pick me up because i didn't have any phone numbers or directions to the house of the girl who was having everyone over. but, well, she's flaky and totally forgot me. sure, i felt like a big loser. but what makes me feel like an even bigger loser is that no one said anything or apologized to me on monday. i was at least expecting a "where were you?" but nope, i got nothing. i'm honestly trying hard to fight feeling sorry for myself, but it's been a tough battle. i'm really quite independent and enjoy spending time alone and being my own person (and i'm so not into the group thing and i definitely don't need validation from other people to feel good), but hey, i was TOTALLY FORGOTTEN, so it's hard not to feel like i'm back in elementary school and no one will play with me during recess.

this saturday is the day i've selected to send in my acupuncture application. i usually don't believe this crap, but it's supposed to be a super auspicious day. it's february first and also the chinese new year, which also seems appropriate given that i'm applying to a masters program in traditional chinese medicine (get it?). so send good vibes my way on saturday, friends.

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