a r a j a n e . d i a r y l a n d . c o m

i want to breathe // 2003-03-01

i don't remember much of anything about getting my wisdom teeth out yesterday. my oral surgeon game me some halcion to take one hour before the surgery. all i remember is taking the drugs, c coming to my apartment to pick me up 10 minutes later, and me answering the door and feeling dizzy. after that it's all pieces. i don't remember the ride to the doctor's office, but i remember being in the waiting room and the receptionist asking if i was ok. then i remember trying to write the check, and not being able to. c wrote it for me, and he kept writing the check for $14, but that was wrong. then i think i walked down the hall to the room, a nurse put the nitrous mask over my face, and then that's it.

c told me later that when they brought me out in a wheelchair after the surgery i was sobbing and moaning. i don't remember going back to his place, but when he put me in his bed i couldn't breath very well, and i couldn't talk or swallow, so i started writing notes to him all panicked. looking at it now, i have no idea what i meant by most of it.

this morning c made me scrambled eggs.

he has been very sweet.

other things i have eaten since yesterday:

  • a vanilla milkshake
  • chocolate soy pudding
  • applesauce
  • more chocolate soy pudding
  • cream of broccoli soup

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