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it's even worse than you might think // 2003-03-28

ara jane, it's 4:00 on friday afternoon. how can you be updating your weblog? shouldn't you be in the middle of a giant ball of metal hurtling toward japan right now?

why yes, i should be doing just that. but, you see, i'm a gigantic pussy, and couldn't bring myself to go on this trip, couldn't even think of getting on the plane, and so i didn't go.

though i realize that i'm a shameful excuse for a human being, i have a glimmer of a sick hope inside me that the plane i was supposed to be on will crash, and then i'll be able to have the last laugh. see how smart i was to avert death like that?! ha!

and now i think i'm going to go cry some more and feel even worse than i already do.

before // after