ha ha. i guess that makes me a brilliant metal.

last night c and finally had vegan pizza and it was quite horrible. i think if i had tried it when i actually was vegan i would have been delighted, but ugh. and the one guy who was working there delivered what was quite possibly the worst service i've ever had. when we entered and walked up to the counter to order, he frantically looked at us and said, "i'll be with you in 8 or 9 minutes!" 8 or 9 minutes? so, we sat down at one of the three small tables located just four feet from the counter and waited for him to indicate when he was ready for us to order. and we waited. and waited. and waited. and finally, as he was wandering around back there aimlessly and picking up random pieces of paper and cleaning out the pizza oven and looking generally listless, i walked up to the counter and said, "excuse me, but can we order now?" and he said, "oh, i don't wait tables!"

did i ask him to wait our table? i explained to him (kindly) what he said to us 15 minutes earlier about how he would be ready to take our order in 8 or 9 minutes and how i thought he might have indicated to us when he was ready so we could walk up to the counter to order, and he said, "listen, i can't keep track of who's ordered and who's waiting and who's eating and who's complaining."

i think we should have walked out right there. seriously, i was being really nice to this guy. but this is a tiny pizza joint with all of three tables in it, and there was no mob scene here. as someone who has worked at many a restaurant, keeping track of what's going on at three tables is not a difficult task.

and of course, the pizza sucked ass. if you're going to make vegan pizza, the crust and the sauce better rock, because you know the fake cheese is just going to stick to your teeth and add nothing to the pizza. but the crust was like cardboard and the sauce was worse. i'll give props to the pepperoni, though.