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ho, ho, holy // 2004-11-14

holy crap! i'm blonde! and my hair is short(ish)!

i'm not sure how much i like it. but hey, it's just hair, right?

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later tonight...

oh geez, i'm on a hair-remorse roller coaster ride. i'm on the verge of tears about my hair, and so i go and put on a party dress and lipstick and try to stylishly muss up my hair in order to feel okay. and it works and i think i might look okay, and then i start to think that i must look totally absurd. like with the yellow head and red lips i'm some sort of circus clown.

it didn't help that today, my first full day with this hair, was spent having an early thanksgiving with my whole family--my sister, her husband, my niece, my mother and my three fathers (two of them step, one former and one current, and one of them my real dad, who i actually haven't seen in several years) my pregnant cousin and her husband, my aunt, many relatives on my brother-in-law's side, and who am i forgetting? and i feel like everyone was looking at me as if i was a freak, but i've always felt like the freak of the family. oh look! i'm 30 and i'm in crazy acupuncture school, and i live with my boyfriend of three years and i'm still not married and i'm don't have children! and oh, ara jane, aren't you so funny, doing such silly things to your hair!

bah.

double bah for the fact that we were having an early thanksgiving because my brother-in-law is in the army and is being shipped off to iraq and won't be here for actual thanksgiving.

everything tonight made me feel like i wanted to cry. who knows if it was me, the two glasses of wine i drank, iraq, my relatives, the fact that i just switched to a low estrogen pill and it must be fucking with my emotions (mustn't it?), or, or or... my stupid blonde head? shit. at times like this it probably isn't a good idea to be so impetuous with one's hair, is it?

before // after